BOOM!! Birds flew in all directions and so did my sanity. I stared at the accident; my life burning away in front of me. It can't be! It must be a dream. I run and run and run and RUNNN!! All I could find were the pieces of the landmine. I wish I could destroy it, but it had already lost its essence and taken mine too. Her flowery peach dress was blackened now. The handpicked tulips meant for me lay on the floor as ash. The greed of man had planted this metal demon to steal the best bit of my life. Why me? I screamed my lungs out, picked my pistol, and looked to the sky. Where were you Bigger Being? You fixed everything and left me out! I remember all the priest's words about His compassion and care.
It all began fifty-two days after World War two. A loud cry broke the silence of the woods. A happy mother embraced her new born and the father's ashes could still be seen on the battlefield. The past war was worth reminiscing, after its effects changed the world's mindset. It made known the fact that no matter how powerful man might think he is, he is still just creation. The superpowers of this world were now left at the mercy of the Bigger Being, who had put an end to their madness. Call me James Tucker. I am the one who broke the wood's stillness. The family I was born into wasn’t a noble one and the only thing I faced in life was struggle. The hard work I put myself through throughout the phases of my life was just enough to help me exist; not live. Over the years my heart was made hollow. A big gap filled with pain; a place of scarce happiness. Every bit of my life had just been full of thorns that didn’t just prick me, but dug into my soul. My mother’s bones became fragile as the days passed and there was no way I could look at life through joy-coloured glasses. But it's all history now, cause I'm getting married. I was sure I had found happiness; a better me was about to be unveiled. Looking into her eyes I could see what love looked like, and I was holding it right now. Her smile made me think that she was too good for me, but all the same we were one now. I embraced this beauty, and we ventured out to fight life. We planned our honeymoon; camping beside the Breach Waterfall. It was one of nature's wonders in my town and we were going to make use of it. Counting the days with her, I felt no fear now. No sadness. No pain. Not for losing my father or my infected left arm. I felt I had suffered all that to gain this, and nothing could take her away from me.
But here I am today, holding the remains of the “ashed” dress of the love of my life. Her journey to pick colourful blooms as a gift for me had now become a journey to her grave. I’m going to join her now. I pulled the metal trigger. Kra! My rounds were out, but my options weren't. I run the full landscape of the field, trying to embrace the metallic discs that ended her life. None found me. Why does all this happen to me? Nature seemed blind to the day’s incident for the weather was still bright as before. Such a beautiful sunset! I stared at how beautiful His creation is. A little deer run quickly into the woods. Still, why me?
I walked back to the village and recounted the sorrowful experience to my mother. Her heart sunk, yet she simply picked up a broom and said, "For all it's worth, you should be grateful." What?! Grateful?! “Mama, I’ve lost my father. My dog rots in the soil as I speak. My future burned away with my corn farm. I lost my arm and now my life itself. And you want me to smile at this Man?” She grabbed my palm and said, "We killed His Son. We stood by Him in pretense to give us what we want, and later left Him for much more useless things. We insult Him, burn His houses, kill His church. Yet He still smiles at us. He gives us what we need though we will never deserve it. We get to enjoy the benefits of His goodness even though we are the very ones who destroy it. You are alive, aren’t you? You found love, didn’t you? Mr. Stolberg is sixty years and single. Your brother James died from an injury in a football game. And you’re still angry? If anyone should be angry, it's Him. Yet, He does everything to make you better and better, because you're His number one... Even though He isn't yours."
Mama’s words pricked me harder than any pain I ever felt. I walked out still furious; but with shame and tears. I webbed through the maze of trees to clear my head. My stroll ended at the banks of River Hal. Sitting beside the river I was born by, I started writing;
To the Bigger Being,
A million times I've heard your story, but I've never really been in it. I now want to be a part, yet I don't even know how to say sorry. My best argument, I see, is now my worst excuse. I see now that you chose me for all this to make me strong. Continue to love me till the end, and thank you. I know my story didn’t begin well but I’m ready to finish well! You don’t need to wait for me any longer, because you just became my number one.
With love,
The child beside the river.
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